Took me 27 years to get to a point where I don't wait too long to say the things I need to say. I'm sorry, please forgive me, I know I hurt you, I love you. Just last night Mom was fuming again, I said some things I wish I hadn't. She might have too. Woke up this morning with it heavy on my heart. I was blessed enough to have a great conversation with Nicole and afterward I called my Mom and poured it all out to her. I used to think I couldn't tell her the whole truth. I thought somehow it would make matters worse if she really knew what goes through my mind. But later this evening, she did something for me she's done my whole life. When I get stressed out and worry about all the details of my life, she pulls out her Bible and drills it into me. But there was something a little different about it this time. Something sweeter. And she's talking to me as an adult. She told me how her mother served the Lord despite the opposition. She told me how it all began for her, how she stepped out in blind faith. She read Psalms to me. She probably thought I wasn't listening. But really what I was doing was trying not to cry by looking the other way and keeping my hands busy (Guess I saved the tears for right about now). This is some of what she read to me:
Psalm 32:1
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered.
She told me once again how the only thing that was going to bring me peace was God's word. How right she is. Those words bring me life, breath, healing, and such a strange combination of sorrow and happiness I'm inclined to keep on crying. Don't worry though. They aren't just tears of sorrow, they are also tears of joy!
Psalm 32:7
You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance
I know I will never grow old of my Mother's love. Thanks Mom
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3 comments:
Melanie, I appreciate your willingness to talk. I hope all goes well with you and you're able to sort out any confusions. You are truly a good person and I hope we talk more often. Enjoy your week and hope to see you Sunday.
My heart is heavy for you Melanie. I'm glad you talked with your mom. Seems like she's got a lot of wisdom just waiting to pour out on you. Love you.
Glad that whatever it is that I said, made you work it out with your mom. No matter what happens, honesty is best, and talking things out, is even better.
Now, what exactly did I say? :)
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